You is from Dudley, in't it?

How can we lift this blue funk?

By signing David Villa maybe? OK, maybe not...I do have the next best thing tho, Brian's Blue Joke of The Week:

Wife asks her husband if they can make love with the light ON after 20 years together. 'no way!' says he. undeterred, she flicks the light on next time, to discover him sh*gging her with a huge
marrow, having clearly got no genitalia.

'20 years of this??' she screams. 'you have some explaining to do mister!!' she adds, furiously.
'oh...have i??' he says incredulously. 'so have you!! we've got two kids!!!'

please try the veal......