Evening all, stoopid international week, no freakin' footie on telly at all...an International break can mean bad news for clubs and I'm worried that we may get a few players coming back from their games with knee-knack or something. Liverpool have really suffered since the last break (heh) and I just hope Arsenal can keep their momentum going into the next match at home to Bolton (who aren't scary now that Little Sam is at the helm).
I've finally succumbed and joined facebook today, lots of good folk on there so we'll see how I get on with the mutha...
Its been a while, but back by popular demand is Brian's joke of the week, take it away, Pod:
a man is walking through a marketplace when he sees a wigwam with the sign 'any question answered' above it.
he enters to be greeted by an old red indian in full native regalia.
'HOW!' says the big chief.
'HOW!' replies the man quickly.
'what is question?' the indian says.
feeling smug, the man says 'who scored the winning goal in the 1927 scottish cup final??'
'gordon mcerlain. hibs 2 celtic 1.' replies the chief quick as a flash. the man leaves the wigwan astonished.
30years later he is in the same market when he sees the same sign, this time above a huge palace, decorated with native american daubings and artefacts.
curious to see, he enters the palace and finds the same red indian sat inside.
'HOW!' says the man, testing to see if he remembered him.
'fast inswinging corner, bullet header, near post.'
says the chief.
Jiveman #1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head! (Golly, that white fellow should stay away from my wife or I will punch him. )
Jiveman #2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man!(Yes, he is wrong for doing that. )
Jiveman #1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get the same ol' same ol.(I knew a man in a similar predicament, and he ended up being sorry. )
Jiveman #2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'. (Don't be naive Arthur. Each of us faces a clear moral choice. )
Jiveman #1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em. (Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. )
Together: Col' got to be! Yo! (How true! )
Together: Sheeeeeeet! (Golly!
)
The Jive Dudes orderin' dinner
Elaine: Would you gentleman care to order your dinners?
Jiveman #1: Bet babe, slide a piece a da porter, drink si' run th' java. (I would like the steak please. )
Jiveman #2: Lookie here, I can dig grease and butter on some draggin' fruit garden. (I'll have the fish.)
Jiveman #2: S'mo fo butter layin' to the bone. Jackin' me up. Tightly.
Randy: I'm sorry I don't understand.
Jiveman #1: Cutty say he cant hang.
Woman : Oh stewardess, I speak jive.
Randy: Ohhhh, good.
Woman : He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine.
Woman : Jus' hang loose blooood. She goonna catch up on the`rebound a de medcide.
Jiveman #2: What it is big mamma, my mamma didn't raise no dummy, I dug her rap.
Woman : Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don wan no help, chump don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains anyhow.
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