Nice bust

How typical. I mention 'knee knack' in my last blog and lo and behold, Robin van Persie twists his knee and is gonna be out for up to a month. Oh well, nowt I can do about it, better looking at it as a great chance for Eduardo to show us his stuff. However, van Persie's injury has also scuppered my Fantasy team which is a dreadful shame since I was shooting up the table like a gun-slinger with bad eyesight. Nevertheless, putting Adebayor will surely bag plenty of points....

We haven't seen much of our Brazilian Croatian yet, a couple of nice goals and some nice touches have whetted our appetite so tomorrows game against Bolton will hopefully give him a nice platform to represent.

It was the much-anticipated Arsenal AGM yesterday, the highlight of which was the surprise unveiling of a Herbert Chapman-stylee Arsene Wenger bust, well deserved too in my opinion. Reports of the Meeting all agree that Wenger's speech was as articulate and inspiring as you'd expect, whereas the Chairman's handling of the meeting itself was perhaps disappointing (the Online Gooner is particularly scathing, questioning Hill-Woods sanity and whether he might 'buy the farm' before the next AGM). Even so, the new lock down agreement will hopefully put any takeover talk on the back burner for a while, although Usmanov may well continue to pick off shares from the smaller shareholders until he's only got the big boys left to deal with.

Some belated congratulations to pass on, well done to Nath and Anna Marie for their impending arrival, chuffed to bits for you both. Also, a 'nice one' goes out to Verity and Kat for their respective births recently, as well as Tobe for his wedding.

Off on hols to Portugal next week so site will be updated even less than usual; I'm meant to be playing golf while I'm away which should be pretty funny as I haven't played in 3 years. i think I'll be relying on Pete's clubs and the ghost of Seve (or Tarby) to guide me round 18 holes, any score under, ooh, 110 would be viewed as spectacularly good methinks...

Cutty say he can't hang

Evening all, stoopid international week, no freakin' footie on telly at all...an International break can mean bad news for clubs and I'm worried that we may get a few players coming back from their games with knee-knack or something. Liverpool have really suffered since the last break (heh) and I just hope Arsenal can keep their momentum going into the next match at home to Bolton (who aren't scary now that Little Sam is at the helm).

I've finally succumbed and joined facebook today, lots of good folk on there so we'll see how I get on with the mutha...

Its been a while, but back by popular demand is Brian's joke of the week, take it away, Pod:

a man is walking through a marketplace when he sees a wigwam with the sign 'any question answered' above it.
he enters to be greeted by an old red indian in full native regalia.
'HOW!' says the big chief.
'HOW!' replies the man quickly.
'what is question?' the indian says.
feeling smug, the man says 'who scored the winning goal in the 1927 scottish cup final??'
'gordon mcerlain. hibs 2 celtic 1.' replies the chief quick as a flash. the man leaves the wigwan astonished.
30years later he is in the same market when he sees the same sign, this time above a huge palace, decorated with native american daubings and artefacts.
curious to see, he enters the palace and finds the same red indian sat inside.
'HOW!' says the man, testing to see if he remembered him.
'fast inswinging corner, bullet header, near post.'
says the chief.

Good on yer, Bri

And here, for no reason other than "it's great" is the jive dialogue from Airplane!

The opening Jive Scene

Jiveman #1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head! (Golly, that white fellow should stay away from my wife or I will punch him. )
Jiveman #2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man!(Yes, he is wrong for doing that. )
Jiveman #1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get the same ol' same ol.(I knew a man in a similar predicament, and he ended up being sorry. )
Jiveman #2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'. (Don't be naive Arthur. Each of us faces a clear moral choice. )
Jiveman #1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em. (Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. )
Together: Col' got to be! Yo! (How true! )
Together: Sheeeeeeet! (Golly!)

The Jive Dudes orderin' dinner

Elaine: Would you gentleman care to order your dinners?
Jiveman #1: Bet babe, slide a piece a da porter, drink si' run th' java. (I would like the steak please. )
Jiveman #2: Lookie here, I can dig grease and butter on some draggin' fruit garden. (I'll have the fish.)

The Jive Dudes, a mystery illness, and Barbara Billingsley...

Randy: Can I get you something?
Jiveman #2: S'mo fo butter layin' to the bone. Jackin' me up. Tightly.
Randy: I'm sorry I don't understand.
Jiveman #1: Cutty say he cant hang.
Woman : Oh stewardess, I speak jive.
Randy: Ohhhh, good.
Woman : He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine.
Woman : Jus' hang loose blooood. She goonna catch up on the`rebound a de medcide.
Jiveman #2: What it is big mamma, my mamma didn't raise no dummy, I dug her rap.
Woman : Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don wan no help, chump don git no help. Jive ass dude don got no brains anyhow.

In the House Again

And we're back.

Its been a while, I know, so much as happened since my last blog, especially in the wide, wide world of sports, well the sport that matters most anyway...

What the hell is with the Rugby World Cup? How long does it need to be? Why can't they play during the week? Big load of wang, thats what I say.

Back to some real sport now, Chelsea have knockled Spuz into second place in the Mass Crisis Table; could i really have asked for more this season? Out of all the hate figures at Chelsea (and there are plenty), the one whom I taking the most satisfaction from seeing squirm (even more than usual - he's as slimy as Kenneth Baker's characiture in Spitting Image) is Kenyon. How does he think he can turn Chelseas into the biggest club in the world when they only get 24,000 for a Champions League game? The man is delusional. A report was published recently giving the number of hits received by each Premiership club's websites at the end of August; domestically, the leaders were Man U, Liverpool and The Arsenal, where were Chelsea? 11th. 11th! Whilst they came 4th based on international hits, Chelsea cannot rely on increasing their domestic support-base in a matter of months, thesse things take a long time and with other clubs, involves a little something we like to call 'history'; a facet the Kings Road club are hardly bathing in...

Down at Arsenal, things couldn't be much better, although I don't want to say too much just in case I curse 'em; injuries are starting to pile up a bit though, what 's happening with Gallas? Injured on August 19, the Arsenal skipper was originally ruled out for three weeks. Four weeks later, he missed the Gunners' win at Spurs. On September 20, the club's official website announced that 'Gallas is expected to return for the West Ham game on September 29'. On September 27, Arsene Wenger announced: "Gallas is maybe a week or 10 days away." Thanks to F365 for that last bit of info.

Couple of shout-outs to do, firstly big hello to Kristian and Angie who arrived in Thailand last week and are currently planning to overpower the Junta in Burma in a couple of months, just let the Monks walk, man! Anyhoo, They're away for a year or something and they'll hopefully mail me some pictures of their travels to post on this site.

Secondly, apologies to Neil, i know I preomsied I'd update my site more, things have been so hectic recently though. Nevertheless, to try and make this up to Auckland's number one scouser, I've been onto the Simpsonize Me website (http://www.simpsonizeme.com/) and created characters for us both, like...