Being La

Some guest writing for you now, here's Funk Pie's token scouser, Neil Mahoney (see file photo). There'll be more guests tomorrow, when Brian Stevens returns with a filthy gag for y'all.

Being a scouser isn't easy. You have to try hard to be a scouser. It doesn't come naturally, its actually hard work. First of all I have the issue of technically not being a scouser as I come from the posh area of merseyside, but my dads from the Dingle, so that makes it alright. Every morning you need to remember to use your accent to the full and crack a joke and drop in a little song. When you get to work you need to be sickeningly happy, loud and have a story to tell. You must during the day remember that you could be being filmed by someone and that fame is just around the corner. An unrealistic view of life is required as is an opinion on everything and using the scouse right to change your opinion when you want.