Chett’ Back to Class?

By Ginger Prentice

Mocha Juniors better hope they’ve done their homework as professor Chetty has promised he is coming back to school to teach them a lesson in football.

In a shock move, Garage Vintage’s mercurial left winger, Darren Chetty, yesterday said he will play in December’s do-or-die clash with the Juniors, after initially ruling himself out due to a fixture clash with a yoga workshop.

“I’ve been on a macrobiotic diet and meditating daily – I’m in a good place both physically and spiritually,” the new age left footer wrote in weekly column in the Littlington Gazette.

“The Juniors have always suffered from being tactically naïve and have never proved a match for our cerebral style of football,” blasted Vintage’s eggheaded midfielder, sneering: “they just don’t make the grade.”

News of Chetty’s U-turn got an ‘E for effort’ in the Juniors treatment room, with sidelined Mocha midfielder, Dan Brown, describing the Vintage man as “well past his best,” slamming the publicity surrounding his decision as: “nonsense; nothing but hot air.”

“He had a sweet left foot once upon a time, but he lacks the pace he once had,” cheeped the former Magpie ace, who is currently recovering from a groin injury he picked up while on international duty with Greece.

“I hope to play and if the nurse gives me the green light, I’ll be like a rat up a drainpipe,” says Brown, adding that it will be him who will be doing the educating. “All of Chetty’s verbal is well out of order. His mouth is like a runaway train and I’m going to derail that Chett-a-nooga Choo Choo – you wait and see,” fumed the Mocha man.