Rec n' Ball

One for the East Side today, its time to start building up the return of the Steeple Morden Rec Boxing Day football match...

The history of the Boxing Day match stretches right back to the First World War; soldiers from Germany, Steeple Morden and Ashwell came together over no mans land (they had missed the Christmas Day match), and tried to have a game of headers and volleys without stepping on a landmine (this proved particularly hazardous when there was a "scramble" or "Jagt").

The good news is, the match is back, and it's happening this year on Saturday 27th December at midday. Funk Pie is proud to be the official sponsor of the event, all the build up, gossip and team news will appear here first. A countdown clock to kick off can be seen on the right-hand side of the page.

Funk Pie's first exclusive is regarding the teams. Following discussions with the Boxing Day Match Executive Committee (BDMEC), it has been decreed that the two team captains will be the brothers Hasler, Kristian and Nathan. Kristian will be taking charge of the Vintage Garage XI, whilst Nathan will skipper Mocha Juniors. As the names suggest, age will play some part in the team selection process.

There will be an exclusive (Chinese) trophy for the winner, as well as a special gong for the Man of the Match (to be voted for in the Waggon after the game).

News of the match has already created a buzz around the world, especially in Beijing, where Funk Pie reporter takes up the story:

Afternoon at the Rec' will be no picnic

By Tony N. Joe

The riches of the professional game may be a long way from SG8, but this December's grudge match between Mocha Juniors and Vintage Garage XI will be every bit as keenly contested as the premiership derbies between Arsenal and Tottenham, Newcastle and Sunderland, Man City and Manchester United.

"The hate runs deep…every Garage fixture pits kith against kith, kin against kin," says Vintage midfielder Matthew Gray. "Blood certainly isn't thicker than water on Steeple Rec'," he adds, listing that each side boasts a Hasler, Gray and Fitzsimmons brother, "not to mention, rivalries that go back to the playground and the pub. That McKee still owes me a pint"

With bragging rights for a year up for grabs, every player is going to be up for it. I'm going to leave blood in the mud – some of it might even be mine," quips the village elders' captain and combative midfielder, Kristian Hasler, older brother to the younger side's captain, Nathan, who is due to return on loan from Ajax.

Mocha forward and current holder of the garage golden boot, Martin Downes refuses to be intimidated by the tough talking of the Vintage captain: "We're just going to play our normal long ball game and bypass the midfield. I'm confident that my goal hanging will see me reap another bumper harvest. Our style may not be pretty, but it sure can be effective."

The Mocha Junior squad will be bolstered by the return of team captain Nathan Hasler as well as Kev and Damien Pennell – the other two thirds of the 'three amigos' partnership that once wowed crowds in Argentina. But the whippersnappers will be without influential playmaker Dan Brown, convalescing with family in Devon after an operation on a long term groin injury. "He's got quick feet, but he always thinks with that part of his anatomy, so it's important for him that he gets that put right first," says his team-mate, defender Russell Foulger.

The Vintage XI will benefit from the return of Jamie Fewster and Richard Holme - sidelined after positive drugs tests earlier in the year - as well as defender Dominic Fitzsimmons, who comes back from a red-card littered spell plying his lazy midfield play in China. There are doubts over the match fitness of several key members of the Vintage squad and a scheduling foul up could see bookish left winger, Darren Chetty ruled out of contention.

Despite the incendiary atmosphere on the field, police are playing down any talk of possible crowd trouble. "Thankfully the disgusting scenes that were commonplace at Magpies games are now a thing of the past. After the referee was forced to stop play to quell crowd trouble on that now infamous Halloween fixture, we arrested the ringleaders and nipped the problem in the bud," PC Chapman of North Herts Constabulary told the Royston Crow last week. "Not to mention most of the trouble-makers will be on the pitch," he adds.

This year's fixture will be refereed by veteran official Paul Hasler, father to the two captains and the man credited with being the godfather of the now famed Garage football academy. "I'll show no bias – I think they are all arseholes," says the man in black. And as any follower of Garage football will tell you, he's always right.