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Vintage Garage XI's hopes of beating Mocha Jrs to the Boxing Day trophy suffered a blow today as bandy-legged midfielder Jamie Fewster told the world he would be unable to play in the match. In a Rio Ferdinand-esque case of absentmindedness, Fewster confessed he had mixed his days up. After originally hollering "I'll play so long as we can play in black and amber. Grrrrrr up the tigers.", Fewster's latest admission had Vintage fans growling with despair.

Fewster had cited "Family commitments" as his excuse, but Funk Pie can reveal the real reason he will not be able to make the match. The Hull-born beard-monger will be rubbing whiskers with west country-based farmer Michael Eavis on his Barbados Island. Eavis was all but happy to spill the beans on his guest: "Jamie impressed me with the success of his Orfest08 festival, but I couldn't help thinking his beard needed some work. It just looks like he can't decide what he wants to do, so I've offered my help and Jamie was all to happy to take me up on my offer."

Pragmatic Vintage XI captain, Kristian Hasler though, is not ready to hit the panic button just yet: "We will miss his Tiger-like tenacity but there was always gonna be one or two called away on official duty, or splitters as we call them".

There was better news for the Vintage, however, as shot-happy newshound, Ali McKee and Litlington's top MC, Darren Chetty, both confirmed their availability. Furthermore, tazmanian devil-style defender Dominic Fitzsimmons landed safely back in Blighty this afternoon.

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