The exclusives just keep on comin', kids. This week, Foden icon and towering defender Big Russ Foulger has his say, and he ain't scared to say it:
What are Mocha's main areas of strength this year?
Referees have taken a lot of flak this year in the professional game, but outside the top-flight there was no more shocking decision making than that of Paul Hasler. So, I'd say that our biggest strength could be anyone else pulling on the black jersey. That aside, I think we're hungry; It was a humiliating defeat last year and we won't want two of those on the spin. I also sense a little complacency from Vintage this time round.
Who do you admire (in a non-sexual way) on the Vintage team?
What I like about them collectively is their confidence, but let me make it clear that we don't fear them. They may have embarrassed us last year but I reckon we're a potential banana skin for that lot this year. There's been a lot of personnel changes on both sides and I think they've suffered some losses whilst we've managed to consolidate. Individually, for work rate, you can't overlook Richard Holme. But I wonder whether he might have lost a yard or two over the year.
Who do you admire (in a sexual way) on the Vintage team
Don't get me wrong, Martin, I've got a couple of pink shirts in the wardrobe, if you know what I mean, but they don't impress me much. Sure, they've got their share of pretty boys, but I wouldn't go near any of them with yours.
How can Mocha lay the ghost of last year's defeat to rest?
We've got to show them we mean business right from the get go. Set our stall out early doors. I think if we can do that they'll run out of ideas pretty quickly and we're looking at a rout
Any prediction for the score?
What was the score last year? Well you can double that f*cker this time round. To us, though, obviously.
Our intrepid Funk Pie reporter headed to Los Angeles this week to catch up with ex-player and the Hollywood gossip columnists' favourite ex-pat, Daniel Brown. Once a dynamic attacking midfielder for the great Morden Magpies team of the early 1990s, Brown now spends his time stealing scotch eggs from the buffet at Film premieres and then selling them onto the homeless (probably)...
What was the main reason for Vintage's victory last year?
Firstly I should make it clear that I could not make last years game. That said, when I heard the result it came as a genuine shock that Mocha had been turned over. On paper there was only one winner. Mocha had all the talent, younger legs and most importantly they had goals in them. Downes, Hasler, Linggood..School of Finishing alumni. They had strength too in the imposing form of Foulger and with Andy Goose the ablity to open up a defence made up of largely one dimensional hatchet-men.
I still scratch my head at the result. It was beauty vs the beast and there was nothing pretty about the outcome.
Vintage have been hit by the withdrawal of hat trick hero from last year, Darren Chetty, who do you feel will take up the mantle of goal-sniffer supreme for the team?
Chetty's days as the golden child of the morden football circuit will not be forgotten. Last year by all accounts appeared to be a lesson from the master in finding the back of the net. This loss will affect Vintage badly for sure. There is no direct replacement for DC so I guess the goal burden is going to have to be shared. Matt Gray is worth a goal a game, Jamie knows where the goal is and Rich Holme is always happy to take aim from distance. Kris Hasler has composure in front of goal too but I still see them finding it hard without their talisman.
With Irish stalwart Russell "XX" Foulger commanding the Mocha Jrs defence, can you see any way through for Vintage XI?
When big Russ floors you...you don't get up. Aerial threats should be dealt with easily but its when the ball is fizzing around that the big man can be found out. If Vintage pack the midfield and push forward en masse then I can see problems, but with no Chetty and question marks over the vintage forward line then Foden's finest could be in for a picnic in the park.
Like last year, many pundits feel the younger legs of Mocha Jrs will be the difference between the two sides this time round, how can Mocha drive home this supposed advantage?
If truth be told, no-one lining up on the day is fully match fit. Matt G has been conditioning himself with a tough cycling regime for sometime now but full backs rarely control a game. Mocha certainly have a little youth on their side again but conditions will be crucial...as will turkey consumption levels and the alcohol intake from the night before. Is the drinking ban in place this year?
Who will be the dangermen on the Vintage XI team?
Fewster can play a big role but he's prone to drift in and out of a game. If he's in the mood Mocha will do well to keep him quiet. Paul Hasler is key for me. His refereeing is certainly questionable but he still manages to be handed the whistle for the big games. How many "nailed-on" pens have we seen turned down, offside goals given without a second glance and Dom Fitz has been walking the red-card tightrope for many a year.
How will you be watching the game this year?
Fox Soccer Channel. Beer, nachos and a half-time skype update from Ginger Prentice in The Waggon..sound affair!
And finally, a tip for the result?
Mocha all the way, close until the second half then a flourish with Killer's keen positioning bagging him a brace : 5-2