One man went to bed...

A bit footbally, this post, I won't bore you with how I spent all weekend on my knees in the bathroom sorting the floor out, or how on completing my work, got drunk in record time. Two subjects; Ashley Cole and a bit on the US election...


So Ashley Cole got booed during the England game, poor ol' Cashley, he's had such a hard time lately hasn't he? Listening to Alan effin' Green on 6-0-6 last Saturday really made my blood heat up slightly; he's so eager to preach how booing your own players is completely wrong and why England fans should always encourage the team, etc, etc. As a famous scouser once said, "My @rse!", Cole exemplifies everything that is wrong with the modern footballer and most
supporters have probably been waiting to boo him for quite some time. I used to love him when he was at Arsenal (he was a product of the youth system, after all, these players are often more revered that new signings), the goal he scored against Dynamo Kiev at Highbury in the Champions League in November 2003 was my favourite from that (unbeaten)season, it was the last minute, we were going out of the competition, then up popped Ashley with a diving header across the keeper (the next match was Inter away and that famous 5-1 victory). I was watching the match with Rich in the Saracens Head and leapt forward 5 feet going absolutely mental, I remember just hugging and jumping a complete stranger shouting into his ear "it's brilliant! it's absolutely f&*king brilliant!", before biting my nails for the last couple of minutes.


A year and a bit after this, on January 27th 2005, Cole was spotted in a London hotel sharing tea and cake with his agent Jonathan Barnett, Jose Mourinho, Pini Zahavi and that slimy cretin, Kenyon. A meeting that had taken place as a result of (Cole claimed) Arsenal reneging on a (verbal) promise of a £60k a week contract; I'm sure you're all aware of poor Ashley nearly swerving off the road when his agent told him that Arsenal were only offering £55k a week (over £2.6m a year). Sorry Ashley, but that's just soooo the wrong way to go about things. I'd play for Arsenal for nowt, 2 onions a week, a year's subscription to Woman's Own, anything. I'd even wrestle Bella Emburg in offal for a chance to turn out for my team. However, I digress, Cole obviously saw the super truck full of Russian cash and wanted a piece of it, whatever it took. Cole had come close to being sold by Arsenal to Crystal Palace a few years before after a
successful loan spell there, but Sylvinho's well-documented passport problems put an end to that, allowing Cole to flourish in Arsenal's first team. What's unbelievable is that he was allowed to play for Arsenal again after this meeting, for another season!!


So, returning to the beginning of my rant, if anyone else had made the error against the Kazakhs (with the possible exception of Frank Lampard), it's likely that there would have been no booing, lots of initial swearing perhaps, but the error would probably have merely been an afterthought, it was a pretty meaningless goal in the end. Maybe fans had been waiting for an opportunity to boo Cole, perhaps they sympathise with his wife, or even Mike Riley, or maybe it's because Cole should not be chipping a pass across his defenders blindly at International level (he's very fortunate that there is such a lack of competition for his position). Paying punters are continually told to sit down and shut up by increasingly fascist stewards, they don't need to be told off by commentators who pay nothing to get into the game in the first place. When folk pay good money to go to a match they have every right to criticize, as well as eulogise, and there isn't a player representing England that arguably deserves it more that Cashley. The hyperbolic reaction of the media reaffirms this, as Cole's error has taken up nearly as many column inches as the England goals.


Meanwhile, there are some crazy soundbites coming out of America as the election nears. The Republicans are trying to dig up and scatter Senator Obama's links to the 60s radical William Ayers; Lori Raynor, a biochemist (!) said "I'm scared of Obama - from what I have read and his associations which are questionable, his so-called terrorist associations, and even his church," "I just don't think he can run this country." She added: "Some of my friends have even told me they think he is the anti-Christ." Well, let me tell you Lori Raynor, I'm a bit blimmin' scared of you, love! The religious right sure are a scary bunch. The above quote could be compared with the medieval belief that men with dogs for heads wandered the forests at night, it's that ridiculous (boy, will I feel stupid if Obama really is the Devil) If Obama is the Antichrist, well John McCain is erm, Gripper Stepson and Sarah Palin is definitely Zuul from Ghostbusters...